Tuesday, 25 December 2012

He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore...

How The Grinch Stole Christmas

by Dr. Suess

Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...


But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!


The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.


But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.


"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...




...All the Who girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!


Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!


And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!


They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"


Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!


"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"


"All I need is a reindeer..."
The Grinch looked around.
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...?
No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.


THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.




Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Whos
Lay a-snooze in their town.


All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Grinchy Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.


Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"


Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!


Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!


Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"


And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two.


The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"


But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."


And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.
And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!


Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.


And the one speck of food
The he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.



Then
He did the same thing
To the other Whos' houses


Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Whos' mouses!


It was quarter past dawn...
All the Whos, still a-bed
All the Whos, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!


Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"


"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...


But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!


He stared down at Who-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!


Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!


And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"


And what happened then...?
Well...in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he...


...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch carved the roast beast!





MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Happiness Sought and Found

Happiness Sought


Be alert
Be vigilant
Be thankful
And be wise
Happiness is there
Before your eyes

'Tis

The daintiest dance
The merest glimmer
A chink of light
A lustrous shimmer
A soulful note
The faintest cry
A song of love
A sweet reply
A tug on heartstrings
The utmost longing
A sigh of relief
A sense of belonging
The tiniest moment
The sweetest thought
A smile in your heart
Tis happiness caught!
 
Pauline Oliver
 
Thought of the day: "Happiness often sneaks in through a door you never knew you left open" //John Barrymore. (http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/happiness.html)
 
Keep those doors open...who knows ;)
 

 

The Penis Game in public

Penis...Penis...Penis...Penis...PPPEEENNNIISSS.

I know what you're thinking, What is she on about?; How vulgar!; Never!!! hahahah Well I must admit this is not a game for the faint hearted or the lilly livered amongst us either but once you start it, it will be very difficult to actually stop. you can play it during University lectures (check), in your car on your way somewhere (check), maybe outside a bar surrounded by people (check) or just in the privacy of your own home!

The aim of the game is to start low and the next person needs to get his voice as high as possible and keep shouting 'Penis' until someone shouts it so loud that no one can actually out do them.
A word of warning: Passers by will be either extremely shocked or someone might actually shout it back at you. Its a game that brings people together and makes people smile. :D

And yes you're still thinking I'm a bit crazy and I appreciate that. This all started with my friends and "New Girl" (2011, Tv Series starring Zoey Deschanel) where she couldn't say the word but ended up shouting it by the end of the episode. When I'm out with friends and the night is turning out to be a downer we tend to resort to this game and then vary it...of course. Take last night for example, we were driving along a long and winding road in the hope of reaching some alcohol infused bar and we just got the urge to yell something at people, take the edge off a bit. We rolled down our windows, took a breathe of *very cold* fresh air and yelled as hard as we could at anybody or anyone who was on the side of the street or driving in the car next to us. It was liberating, de-stressing and got a few laughs along the way. Even the shyest of us tried and succeeded in fact!
The best part about it is you smile so much by the end of the night, that nothing can get you down. And we all know the benefits of smiling - so I'm not going to go into the whole science of it.

I know people have been playing this for a very long time now so its not a novelty, but in Malta, these type of words are still a bit taboo in certain places especially if they're coming out of a girl's mouth - True Story.

So try it for me (if you never have) and you'll see that it's positively invigorating.

Thought of the day: (and I chose this cause I couldn't find any positive quotes...such Penis rage! *tsk tsk*) “my penis feels like a curious old gentleman climbing a flight of stairs and then stopping halfway up to have a stroke.”
Chris Killen

Merry Christmas ;)