Heartbreaks and Heartaches

"It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache, hits you when it's too late, hits you when you're down."

- Bonnie Tyler was right about it all along. ALL OF IT!!

But when is a heartache just too much to take? Is it when tears brim your eyes and you just smile through them pretending you're crying with laughter? Is it when you look into every strangers' eyes hoping to feel something in the place where no only numbness resides? Or, is it when you just need to sit alone in the dark trying to re-live the memories hoping that the last shred of feeling doesn't turn into rage, anger and even more pain? 
We all have our thresholds and we all prefer to keep them at bay, however sometimes you just snap and your feelings start burning a hole in your soul, eating away at it little by little. The shards of  your fragile heart spreading faster and faster until it's irreparable. The tears flowing for some 'unknown' reason at the time.
It's easy to say "Forget them all, there is always someone who loves you", but you don't want someone else to love you, you want THEM to love you.  Y wan hem  feel he same way y are.You hope with all your might they might feel a sliver of what you're feeling but then you resign yourself knowing that even though you tried to believe otherwise, he never really care for you and you were more in love with the sand castles built in stormy weather than anything else.
I am writing this on a recycled piece of paper from underneath my bed at 1 am because he thoughts just wouldn't let me sleep. It felt like a million voices of people who have felt the same, shouting in my head; "I told you so and you wouldn't listen." You think I'm unfeeling? Have you ever thought that maybe it just might have been you who made me this way with your bullshit attitude, hoping that I would fall for your stupid charm?
That's it. I'm done. I have been taken to the edge, and the foggy plummet of loneliness seems more endearing than all this. I'd rather be numb. I'd rather be cold. I'd rather be seemingly unfeeling rather than hurt people spitefully like you do, just so you try and prove a point. You are a coward. You will never amount to anything because you think that nobody deserves you, because you have dug such a deep hole of self-conceit that you don't even see the light anymore.
I hope you have a lovely life, out of mine and out of my sight.

(Originally written on 14/07/13. Please forgive me if it might be a bit too pessimistic, but I found it very cathartic.)

“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love



Check out this song by Marina and the Diamonds -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hig5uLy2fe0. xx

So Kiss Me :*

How important is it to kiss someone? What if you never do and never feel the need to? Does it mean you're not attracted enough to the person? Was Andy Warhol correct when he had said that when it doesn't happen it makes everything more exciting?

I believe that kissing someone not only shows you're attracted, but it also shows a certain affection towards that individual. I am not talking about the full on washing_machine_tongue_down_someones_throat kissing, apart from the fact that I am NOT a fan of that, I'm plainly saying, going up to a friend and just planting a peck on their lips and hugging them tightly. Granted, I'm not going to do it to everyone or just anybody but is it really that bad? Since when do we live in a world where a kiss means sex?
Now, I am not someone who just spreads affection around believe me, I'm your typical cold person who refuses to speak to someone if she doesn't like them. But over the part months I keep finding myself having these arguments with people who just assume that just because a person kissed them, then the person is physically attracted to them. Could it be that this person is just looking for some affection you just happened to be standing in the way?? Could it be that this person really thinks you're an amazing person and just wanted to show you just how much you mean to them??

Bottom line is, there are kisses and then there are Kisses. Learn to tell the difference.

When you kiss a person because you find them adorable or just entertaining, the kiss is light, not laden with heavy emotions or romance and normally it wouldn't even involve a tongue at all. So please tell the difference and don't go walking around bragging that someone kissed you if they didn't. 

You might be asking yourself what brought this on...hahhaha well apart from the discussions I mentioned previously, it's also a few articles I came across in some of my teenage magazines that I cleaned out this morning nicely titled "9 types of kisses decoded", "Learn how he feels from his Kisses" and "Is he in love? His kisses will tell you what you need to know". I mean, really?? First thing that all these articles say it that if he kisses you he likes you, he wants you blah blah blah.
At this age where you've seen them all and kissed all the frogs who never turned into Princes you will learn that A) everyone kisses in a different way and the only place a first kiss will be absolutely perfect is in fairy tales and Hollywood movies B) when the person is not into you anymore he WILL kiss differently and C) if you want to know how a person feels about you, ASK THEM!!!
I'd say that's simple enough.

One last plea I have, and I know people who know me are thinking it, I am not being pessimistic, I'm being realistic. 


“The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss.” 
― Jarod Kintz